The Top 5 | Long Distance Tips

Okay, so something a bit different today! I've had a couple of requests of this from friends outside of the blogging world so I decided to actually sit down and write it out. Me and Adam had a long distance relationship for three years while we were at uni, he was in Oxford and I was in Portsmouth. We were luckier than most in terms of distance cause really it was only about 2 hours tops away from each other and I know a lot of people do a lot further, but it was still difficult and a real challenge. I have a couple of friends who've recently started long distance relationships and they've asked me for a couple of tips and they've had a lot of the same issues I had when I was in a long distance relationship. It is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do so if I can help just one person whose in this situation it is worth doing it. So, here's my top five tips for long distance love!

CREATE A ROUTINE

Whether it's a set phone call every day/week or set weeks you see each other, we found having a routine really helped. We made sure we saw each other every other weekend so we had something to look forward to and something to focus on when it was getting tough. We also made sure that we said good night every single evening, so even if we didn't have time during the day to chat we made sure we had a chat before bed and said good night - this is something we still carry on now. 

Long distance throws a lot of things out of whack in your life, so setting a routine quickly with your other half for calls, visits etc will help in a big way.

DON'T GO TO SLEEP ON A FIGHT

I always, always made sure that if we had a fight we made up before we went to sleep (even if he didn't want to). It's so easy to stay mad at each other when you're apart as you don't have to see each other or talk to each other so you don't have to make the effort to make up. This is so toxic and it can get out of hand really quickly. I do remember one night when I just kept ringing Adam until he picked up to talk cause I wouldn't sleep without sorting it out.

ADAPT OR DIE

A little bit strong maybe, but oh so true. Adapting to being away from someone if you're used to seeing them is probably the hardest thing, especially if you've been living with them. The thing I found was that all the little quirks that annoyed me to begin with, which I then got used to when we were together, reverted straight back to being annoying when I wasn't around him anymore. Learning to readapt was incredibly hard, especially when you probably only see them for a couple of days at a time, but it was necessary. If you let it all get to you then it's going to be the death of your relationship. 

JUST COMMUNICATE

This seems obvious but it's really easy to just forget about it. You really just need to talk to each other. If you're struggling, tell them. If they are doing something that's not helping the situation, tell them. I found that I was awful at this - I just wouldn't say anything cause I wouldn't want to fight when apart, and then it would just get to me and then if I drank when we saw each other it would all come tumbling out causing a row and ruining a perfectly nice weekend. You cannot bottle it all up, it ruins the times you do see each other and it really just doesn't help either of you. 

MAKE QUALITY TIME

One thing I struggled with was when Adam would come home and we would have to use our time to see each other but also families and friends that he didn't get to see while he was away. Those weekends were good but we didn't get any time with each other and it was always a little bit hard. You're continually rushing around and doing things and it's not relaxing and it can cause problems when you then seperate again as you feel like neither of you has made the effort to actually see each other properly. My biggest advice would be to create quality time together - no matter what. When i went up to Oxford it was my favourite weekends as we just got to be with each other and didn't have to worry about anyone else.

The only other thing I would say if that don't worry if you struggle, don't be embarrased by it. It is difficult and people will understand. It does get easier to be apart, not to say goodbye every time, but it does get easier to be apart eventually. I hope I've helped and you've enjoyed reading it. 

What tips would you give long distance couples?